Life at Camp is busy, fast-paced, and always a little seat-of-our-pants.  We try to plan the heck out of a week.  We go over and over our schedule, we assign staff, we have daily staff meetings.  And still, things change suddenly, staff have unexpected needs that come up.  And our days are just long.  Our programming day starts between 6 and 7 am and lasts until 9 or 10 pm.  Conservatively that’s a 14 hour day or a 70 hour week.

And this year, it’s a little more than I always can do.  I’m just getting up while the rest of Camp is already moving.  I join them for breakfast.  And I’m learning that I often need to duck out of Campfire a little early so I can finish up my last few tasks and get to bed.  So, I’m trying to only work about 60 hours a week.

It used to be different.  I could be up and moving at 6am and the last person to leave the Campfire.  Then I’d finish up my last few tasks and head to bed.  I remember that life.  It’s gone.

It’s not that I’m older.  I’m not that much older than I was before.  It’s that 16 months ago I had brain surgery and 11 months ago I had radiation.  And I’m not back to normal (whatever that will be) yet.  I need every minute of sleep because otherwise I’ll have no energy.  I have very little in reserves–that energy goes toward healing.  And it takes me a little more to do basic things now.  Eventually I hope that this will be different.  That my body will be a little more functional.  A little more healed.  Eventually I will have rebuilt reserves.

But right now I know that this was easier once than it is now.  And that, given a choice, I would be doing nothing else right now.