Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my second surgery.  Yesterday was not the celebration of 5 years since my last surgery.  Because 1 year and 4 months and some days ago I had surgery for the third time.

Which means that in about 8 months I will be able to celebrate 2 years since my last surgery.  And I will.  I have learned that celebrating the post-surgery years is good for me.  I will make plans and invite and inform friends and family–not all of whom will understand but many of whom will rejoice because I will.

Today, though, I miss the celebration that isn’t.  Today I wish that my life were just a little different.  Today I think that this is not helping the headache I have.  Today has become, somehow, about many of the ways in which my life is Not Fair.

My life is not today.  Today is a part of my life.  So tomorrow I think I will start planning a celebration for one year after radiation.  Tomorrow I will think about how to celebrate two years since my last surgery.  And I will let today be a bad day.

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