It changes me.  The surgeries, the radiation, The Headache, any significant aspect of this whole health muddle.  It changes me.

It’s always small or subtle.  My hair will be straighter or curlier.  My normal body temperature will be slightly, ever so very slightly, warmer or cooler. I’ll get tired differently.  Pain will feel sharper, more present.  My vision will be different, blurrier.  My hearing will be clearer (and who measures that). My body will take a little more to do the same things I’ve always done.  Small things.  Things even I will only notice gradually.  Subtly intricate things that will affect large parts of my body and life.

It changes me but I’ll still smile the same.  My laugh will be no different. I’ll joke and laugh with you.  I may cry more, but you probably never saw that anyway.  The changes will probably never come up.  Because how do you tell someone that your nails are softer now?

It changes me. And I’m the only one to notice.

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