My head has hurt for two and a half weeks. I’ve had headaches on at least a semi-regular basis since surgery #2, but this particular streak is unusual. I don’t think it’s the same headache, or at least the pain scale has varied quite a bit. And some days I’ll wake up with a headache and other days it will grow into a full blown presence. I’ve had assorted conversations with various doctors and have a few more to go. I’m hoping there will be an answer, or at least an official physician approved strategy for coping. As a tiny side benefit, I’ve finally done something with the fragment this has been for the last several months.

Sometimes it is the pounding steps of elephants,
cliched as that may be,
or the rattling action of jackhammers,
sometimes it is a quiet vise,
or the silent agony of a tension ball squeezed tight.
Sometimes it is my flinch from bright light,
whether sunlight, bedside lamp
or softer moonbeam;
Sometimes it is my cringe when voices raise
or bells ring out
or when the quiet thrum turns deafening.
Sometimes it brings me low
and keeps me softly in the dark,
so no one sees; and
sometimes it is my silent burden,
carried with a smile, if a softer walk,
and really no one sees.
But it is always my head and my pain
and it is always me.

written 10-22-08

Until this either goes away or assumes an actual shape (rather than the current amorphous cloud of unknowing it currently it), my life is just going to include a few more quiet evenings, and an occasional day, and lot of Excedrin Migraine.

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