This has been a week for memories.  For a lot of reasons, including that with radiation behind me I feel like I can really start focusing on living life after this last round of intense medical stuffs.  It’s not over, it’s never over.  I live with this everyday–in little or big ways.  But now I have this sense of closure.  Now I feel like I can start processing my memories and learning how what it means to live after 3 brain surgeries.

I remember the sharp steel angle
of needles sliding under my skin
seeking secrets hidden in blood

I remember staring into darkness
wondering that I was too tired
for boredom to find

I remember weeping
as bandages were changed
on skin too raw

I remember the omnipresent ache
and the quick lightening pain
of a body not yet knit back together

And I remember it is not over;
it does not end, there is always
another test, another doctor

written 5-7-08