I’m quite openly Episcopalian. I know I haven’t been here long, but trust me, this is a hard fact in my life. And my church has been getting a lot of press in the last few years. There was the gay bishop and now there’s this division that will be in the headlines.
And I am sad. I am saddened by the pain that is behind this move. I am saddened by those who will see this as a good move. I am sad for my GLBTQ friends who understand themselves to be Church-less, or even worse separated from God, because we humans have been too good at alienating and belittling them. I am sad because there are people who will be glad-on both sides of this division. I am sad for the people who wish they did not live in and undoubtedly love the Diocese of San Joaquin but do not approve of this. I am sad for the people who wish they did live in DofSJ.
There are many people who feel excluded, ignored, and injured. And this is why I am sad.
There does not seem to be a clear correct path for us to walk down. There does not seem to be a way for reconciliation, for mutuality.
I am afraid that the most pastoral option we may have is to let them go. With grace. I am afraid that we won’t. I am afraid that the Church DofSJ visions is not one in which I would be welcome. I am afraid that this will be dragged through the courts and that we will all become bitter and that this will be our legacy. I am afraid that this wound will not be healed. In my lifetime. Ever.

I disagree with several of their theological conclusions. I don’t think that this was the way to leave the Church. I don’t want them to go.
I think that my Church will be the poorer for the lack of their voices. I think that this gives us a way to not face the debate(s) we have within us.
I believe that our faith in the fact that Jesus Christ died and rose again to show us God’s love and God’s promise in our lives should be greater than these differences.
I believe that this is not great enough to stand in the way of Holy Communion with one another.
But apparently I am more alone in this than I want to be.
So, today, I am sad and I am afraid.
Because, today, there is good reason to be.
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