I still have good days and bad days. (I suspect I always will.) The difference between good and bad and better and worse is often one of degrees. Today my head hurts slightly. Today I will always know where the excedrin bottle is. Today I will barely leave the couch. Today I will only get out of bed. And similar scales. Most of my days, thankfully, land on the better and good end of the scale. I know what it’s like when days tend to land on the other end of the scale. When the “good” days are the days when you only have to take two naps, one pain pill, can think. And I know that there are days in the middle days where I don’t want to or don’t have time to or am just sick of talking about being sick and so need to pass as healthy, as having a good day. I need to act healthy. Despite the pain in my head, or my back, or my leg, or whatever.
There’s another time I do this. I do this after surgery as I become healthy. It’s actually an important skill then. Because if I don’t start acting healthy, despite wanting to sit on the couch and sleep, despite better knowing how to be sick, I’ll never really believe that I am healthy. I’ll never discover that I can make it down the street or up the stairs or do whatever or go where ever.
In the church I think we get caught thinking we are still sick. Or to put in the terms we use, still dysfunctional, still caught in a prior generation’s way of thinking, still caught up in the way we’ve always done things. We forget that the world has moved and that we, sometimes, oftentimes, haven’t. And as this reality catches up with us, we want to take things slow. To stay on the couch and have committee meetings, to read books, to commission studies, when what we need to do, sometimes, oftentimes, is try getting up and moving across the room.
But sometimes we need to act healthy. Today. Even when it seems impossible to believe that it could be true. Even when our heads hurt or our muscles ache and the people coming to church aren’t the people we thought would come or aren’t coming at all. Because sometimes when we act healthy we discover that we are better off than we thought we were. Today.